Race Report: Obligatory Ass Pun Goes Here

I know my prose is not for everyone, but contrary to my statement of events of my time down south in March, finishing the long course of Northburn Station was one of the happiest moments of my life this year.  I had just waddled into the medical tent and was getting my knees checked out by the medic, and she had briefly left me alone while fetching her blister lance (she was really sick of dealing with exposure all weekend), so while waiting for her to return I decided to take my phone off flight mode and catch up on my emails.  

The subject line on one of them contained the word "Invoice", but my face slowly contorted to a shit-eating grin as I finished reading it off.  

So That I Can Remember: A Whole Bunch of 14ers

Quandary

Sherman

Lincoln

Democrat

Race Report: The Dreaded Clip Show Episode

I like to run my races according to something Lao Tzu said a long time ago--

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.  If you are anxious, you are living in the future.  If you are at peace, you are living in the present.  

The Worlds End 100k was one of those times where I tried to live in the present and enjoy it, but it was apparently just too fucking boring for me.  Here's what I did instead.

So That I Can Remember: Morning at Welshtown

Race Report: To Be Human Again

I am still one of the lucky few who have never had to write about a DNF (did that merit a spoiler alert?  Sorry if it did), but it’s something I look forward to because there are just so many dimensions in finding the strength to persist.  When the day comes for me to have to write about it, it will surely take volumes to describe the eleventy-bajillion ways I done-fucked up.

The 100mi Northburn Station was the closest I’ve ever come to not finishing, even though I finished with more than nine hours remaining on the race clock.  So hopefully this will keep you entertained in the meantime.

obligatory year end 2016-by-the-numbers-and-other-stuff note

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."  --Marcel Proust

So That I Can Remember: Fall Foliage

Race Report: Hold Stumt

As much as I enjoy writing, there wasn’t much of a point in writing a race report for TARC 100 anyways since it will be getting shelved indefinitely for a variety of reasons, including decreasing demand.  Plus, I’ve never been a big fan of ultras run in laps, whether it’s because I find them to be utterly boring, pedestrian and uneventful (see: my 2015 Blackfoot 100k race report, or lack thereof) or because they usually evolve into a longer-than-necessary stay inside the pain cave (see: 2015 Javelina Jundred, 2015 KUS 24h).  So instead of the usual recap about my adventure, I’m going to focus more on how I mitigate things when the act of trying to leave a world of hurt feels increasingly Sisyphean in nature. 

So That I Can Remember: South Kaibab

Race Report: Mein Götterdämmerung

When I rediscovered running in 2011, the reason I did so was to literally run away from people.   I was looking for a decent one-hour break during my work day where I could just be alone, away from shitty colleagues and stupid email chains, and straight-up rediscover the glory of my existence.  

It's been five years, and unfortunately, searching for my raison d'etre is still one of the biggest reasons I lace up--the only difference is that the whole "I just need an hour to deal with some shit" part is closer to a day and a bit now.  

This race report is not a happy story.  It starts out pretty dark.  And then it depicts the pains of running a Hard Rock qualifier all by yourself.  

But it gets better.  

(Also, it's a long one, so maybe pour yourself a glass of wine first.  Or split open a tube of cookie dough.  I don't know, whatever floats your boat.)