So That I Can Remember: Goodnight, 2015

obligatory year end 2015-by-the-numbers-and-other-stuff note

幽玄 - (-na inflection, hiragana ゆうげん, romaji yūgen).  noun.
  An awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words. 

So That I Can Remember: Happy Holidays!

(Thanks Joedine!)

So That I Can Remember: 南丫島 lunchtime run

Race Report: When It's Most Definitely Not Your Turn

.... and so ends five straight months of lunacy.

and also five hundies in five months.

Race Report: When You're Not Sure If It's Your Turn or Not

We all have our bad days.


But really though, the notion of a 'bad day' is all in your head.   You can consciously brace yourself to have a bad day beforehand so you end up feeling no worse than expected.  
 
Of course, that would first take some motivation to look for a good day first. 

So That I Can Remember: Prairie at Dawn

No Dig, No Run

Apart from paying your entry fee, to start Angeles Crest next year you have to finish a race that is at least 50 miles long, and commit to completing 8 hours of trail maintenance work in the vicinity of where you live, train and race.  This weekend I completed the latter with the awesome folk at the Greater Bragg Creek Trails Assocation, and here are some random thoughts.

Race Report: My Favorite Race I Hated

One of my favorite video games of all time, Left 4 Dead, has an achievement called "What Are You Trying to Prove?", which involves completing the campaign on its hardest difficulty.  It's not easy, it involves a lot of wasted time, it involves a lot of help from friends, it involves a lot of crying and screaming, and once you complete it you kind of question why you do the things you do.  That's basically the epitome of my experience at the 2015th Lost Soul ultramarathon. 

that's me after the race.  McKayla Maroney would not be impressed with my half-assed attempt at the McKayla Maroney is Not Impressed face, not that I wasn't impressed with the race...but rather my silly calf panty tan.  (Thanks Brandy!)

That's Why: ¯\(°_o)/¯

runners of all walks of life are often asked this one question by non-runners, which, while simple and only constructed of a few words, begs a thinking process tantamount to answering an Epistemology course exam question.   it's worse for ultrarunners as, to most pedestrian spectators, we're appearing to be half-assedly attempting suicide, or at least slightly deranged. 

"why do you run?"

simple, reasonable answers exist for this question.  
"I need to cry sometimes."
"homicide is illegal."
"I'm too cheap for laxatives...."
"...then I have to earn my cake."

however,  few realize that the wide range of responses applicable to this question actually forms a bigger, more fundamental reason for why you run.  the problem is that this reason does not manifest itself through words but only appears as a mild sensation while you're running.  henceforth--the more tangible an answer becomes, the harder it is to put it into sentences.  

in this eleventy-bajillion part feature, I will attempt to put my spin into the runner's search for meaning.  as noted, the resulting draft of a runner's rambling manifesto will be guaranteed to DNF.  each post will connect to a previous post in some manner, forming a giant puzzle of indeterminate size and product.  however--i hope this sisyphean endeavor will help you find a more purposeful consciousness to your running regime.  enjoy.

Race Report: Suck it Up Whiney Baby

I received positive reception to the format of my last race report, so I'll stick with that until it loses its novelty.   (but, like, mostly because I was hallucinating so much that it'll be very difficult to for me to turn this into a continuous story of sorts.)  Enjoy. 

Flying into Kelowna, I couldn't recall why I even signed up for the 120 mile version of Fat Dog back in November.  192km in the middle of British Columbia with around 175m less elevation gain than that of climbing Everest is not a fun weekend for anyone, especially if my longest distance to date back then was 125km.  Yes, it was a Hardrock qualifier, but that's not something you dream about yet if you haven't even broken 100 miles [at the time].  The race guide lists it as "More difficult than Cascade Crest, Big Horn, IMTUF, HURT, Bear 100 and Angeles Crest"--races I hadn't even dared entering.  Competitor Magazine calls it one of North America's hardest races (#11) while Outside Magazine puts it as one of the nine toughest ultramarathons--sure discouragement for the inexperienced.  The race website straight-up says it was not for beginners.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess--especially, as you'll read, for a lot of the field.  

AmTips: So You Find Out Your Reservoir Has Reached the End of Its Useful Life Almost 24h Before Your Race Starts

You wake up to a puddle on the hotel carpet the day before your race.  But you don't have a dog.   It's coming from one of your hydration packs.  What do you do?  Here's what I did.

FUCKKKK

That's Why: The Absence of Expectation

runners of all walks of life are often asked this one question by non-runners, which, while simple and only constructed of a few words, begs a thinking process tantamount to answering an Epistemology course exam question.   it's worse for ultrarunners as, to most pedestrian spectators, we're appearing to be half-assedly attempting suicide, or at least slightly deranged. 

"why do you run?"

simple, reasonable answers exist for this question.  
"i want to live longer."
"it is a perfect metaphor for self-improvement."
"FOR THE BLING-BLING!"
 "yoga is hard."

however,  few realize that the wide range of responses applicable to this question actually forms a bigger, more fundamental reason for why you run.  the problem is that this reason does not manifest itself through words but only appears as a mild sensation while you're running.  henceforth--the more tangible an answer becomes, the harder it is to put it into sentences.  

in this eleventy-bajillion part feature, I will attempt to put my spin into the runner's search for meaning.  as noted, the resulting draft of a runner's rambling manifesto will be guaranteed to DNF.  each post will connect to a previous post in some manner, forming a giant puzzle of indeterminate size and product.  however--i hope this sisyphean endeavor will help you find a more purposeful consciousness to your running regime.  enjoy.

So That I Can Remember: Rockwall with nearly bloomed wildflowers but no larches yet

So That I Can Remember: Iceline in the Dead of Summer

Really Bad Running Advice: Shut it down; dealbreaker?

Dear Leo,

I recently participated in a speed dating event (no pun intended).  I found that most of the questions I asked the ladies was to ascertain whether or not they would be any good as a crew, pacer, chaffeur, or race volunteer--instead of the usual dreams/hopes/aspirations bullshit.  Is there something wrong with me?

Yours truly,

Forrest Lovepain

So That I Can Remember: Moose in August

That's Why: not C9H13NO3

runners of all walks of life are often asked this one question by non-runners, which, while simple and only constructed of a few words, begs a thinking process tantamount to answering an Epistemology course exam question.   it's worse for ultrarunners as, to most pedestrian spectators, we're appearing to be half-assedly attempting suicide, or at least slightly deranged. 

"why do you run?"

simple, reasonable answers exist for this question.  
"i want to stay healthy." 
"i have to take a break from answering emails."
"because zombies."
 "i have to justify buying those adorable yoga pants that showcases my fantastic......intellect."
however,  few realize that the wide range of responses applicable to this question actually forms a bigger, more fundamental reason for why you run.  the problem is that this reason does not manifest itself through words but only appears as a mild sensation while you're running.  henceforth--the more tangible an answer becomes, the harder it is to put it into sentences.  

in this eleventy-bajillion part feature, I will attempt to put my spin into the runner's search for meaning.  as noted, the resulting draft of a runner's rambling manifesto will be guaranteed to DNF.  each post will connect to a previous post in some manner, forming a giant puzzle of indeterminate size and product.  however--i hope this sisyphean endeavor will help you find a more purposeful consciousness to your running regime.  enjoy.

Really Bad Running Advice: Urine Trouble

Dear Leo,

You recently mentioned the color swatch "'are you sure you're not a spectator' clear" in a race report.  Does this imply you have a color palette for checking your urine somewhere?  I've had trouble hydrating properly during past ultras so I'd like any help in being proactive with my fueling you can give me.  

Sincerely,

Splitzabeth Bonkerson


Splitzabeth,

Urine luck!  (OK I'll stop now.)

This handy chart is built on a 4x6 ratio in case you want to print it out and use it to check your pee during a race.   No, that won't look weird at all.  

Best of luck with your future races,

Leo

So That I Can Remember: Northover in July

Race Report: my first time.

(originally posted as a Facebook note on 15 July 2015.)


don't let the lack of a "dear penthouse forum" salutation fool you--this is indeed that kind of story. this is a story about how i started out all excited but without a clue about what i was doing.  this is a story about it was over way too fast, despite hours of boring rhythmic aerobic activity.  this is a story about how i just ended up insanely tired and hungry when i was done.  this is a story about my first 100 miler.

Race Report: death and all my friends--a less-than-scientific investigation on ultramarathon death races not involving vehicular homicide

(originally posted as a Facebook note on 20 March 2015.)

Since a few of you live vicariously through me....

full disclosure: the RD's for both of these races wanted me to run these races so badly they made me pay my own way to participate in both events.  the opinions stated below are fully my own.